would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
