I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
