grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So many bounce houses so little time
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
