shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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