So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
