how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
