If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
