we have officially lost it.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
