she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
do herpes really smell.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
