hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
