We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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