Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
