Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
