At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
