Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize