remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
