Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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