a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
