I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
