I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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