pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We had sex on a dog bed..
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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