five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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