..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
