Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
