A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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