She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
