bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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