im about as happy as oj after his trial
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I got inside last night via doggy door
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
