Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
