Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
