After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
