With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
