can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
