So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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