i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
