he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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