haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
