I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
