last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
