I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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