Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There's always time for handjobs
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Shame - the story of my life.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
