I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
