It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize