i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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