Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
