that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize