walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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