some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
