I'm jealous of your bromance
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
