idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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