I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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