I hope mine doesn't look like that
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
this hospital has no fireball
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i think i just lost a toe
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
