I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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