If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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