Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
