He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it's like heaven, but drunker
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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