See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
