Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
