Sponge bath it is.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
