we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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