I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
