Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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