Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
