Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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