ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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