yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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