You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
