We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
