i may or may not be watching the land before time
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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