she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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