i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Life is so much better after having sex.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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