He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My breasts were aching with rage.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
