He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
