Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
