After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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